Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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