I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
