how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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