TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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