the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
