I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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