Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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