I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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