ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
