i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
