the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
