like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
