my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
