at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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