like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
