the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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