He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
