Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
