my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
