the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you have to choose: penises or morals?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
