Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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