Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
they need to just BURY HIM!
my being single is dangerous.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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