Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
