its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
