I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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