I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
