it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
