my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
