Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Randomize
