someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize