I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
