My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
