your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
