So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
