my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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