She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
