Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
