I just pynch a tree in the face
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
