so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
