i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
