therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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