google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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