Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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