girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
