I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
