Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
