i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
