I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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