the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
