I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I will pee on everything he values.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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