Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wish I only lived at night.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
