you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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