Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
