she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i would one night stand the shit outta him
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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