Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
