did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
