remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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