In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
